It’s all I can do these days to write, never mind read. I long for a few hours to catch up on reading posts from my little WordPress community. Meanwhile, a stack of nine books graces my night table, and I’ve not gotten through half the first in two months’ time. Life seems fast-tracked somehow, and it’s cold comfort to know I’m not alone. My daughter mentioned yesterday that most of the planets are in fire or air – not much earth or water to ground one. Though it might explain what follows:

Yesterday blasted over the horizon, urged into frantic through the simple act of attempting to Call Forward from my digital home phone to my Android. Suddenly four cell phones on two continents froze up and, three hours and a wiped system later, we were back online. That’s the short version. Meanwhile, the appointment an hour and a half’s drive from home was set back, not to mention an entire day, along with my sanity. I was actually reduced to asking the earnest young woman at the cell service to hold a moment while I screamed. Which I then commenced to do, feeling a bit foolish and not the least bit relieved.

Up until then, it felt as though my heart would burst, the stress was that intense – despite gulping air like a landed fish. Trying mightily to grab some ground and visualize my feet on Mother Earth, my efforts at moving forward seemed distorted, like wading through thick molasses. Meanwhile my husband, painting at the house we’re moving into in two days (our second major move in two months’ time), had no idea the gas company was fortuitously arriving anytime to set tanks and install service; had no concept of an overwrought partner attempting to reach him to inform  him there was no way to confirm movers or communicate with customers. Enough. I’m sure you have your own version of the same story as pertains to your own life. Once again, I am sure I’m not alone in this.

A friend told me recently that, according to the Mayan calendar, this is the end of times – meaning, in part, that the earth – tilted ever so slightly on her axis since time’s inception, for all we know – will soon reach a maximum tilt, to oversimplify a theory. Then she will begin correcting course by tilting ‘back.’ Time feels crunched, as if we have not nearly enough of it. And it’s exciting to live in these days, for ends always fertilize the seeds of potential for new beginnings.

Does this mean that the increasing chaos of the past few years will begin to quell, leaving us room to breathe and stretch out mentally – to gather our wits and pace ourselves?

One can only hope.


12 thoughts on “Frantic

  1. Hi Bela,

    Loved reading this.’Twas quita a deja vu’ to situations I have in office, dealing with a bunch of multifaceted clients and colleagues at the same time.I particularly dig your sentence, “…reduced to asking the earnest young woman at the cell service to hold a moment while I screamed…..” This encapsulates it all, really.

    Fact remains that we, like other organisms, are not designed to be multi-taskers.So, if into a multi-tasking brew, if one throws aspects of folks’ perceptions, mood swings and priorities, one sure ends up with a explosive mix. I guess your post is but an expression of this.

    Had been on vacation and hence the silence over the last two weeks, feels good to be back.




    1. Shakti, it’s good to HAVE you back! We have such a sweet little community here on WP – it’s like, if I don’t hear from some of you in awhile, I’m thinking, “I hope s/he’s okay – wonder what’s up with (Shakti)?” As if we’ve met. Then again, you and I and a couple of others have deeper conversations than most people I know in the flesh. So thanks for checking in 😉

      You know, it’s funny – I’ve lately heard of studies that say men in particular are not biologically wired for multitasking, but women ARE. Perhaps because of our relational nature, and the fact that, at least pre-birth control, we had to raise several children (then died young as a result!).

      I’m usually good at multitasking, but even I have been stretched beyond my limits as of late. Actually it’s gone on now for a few years. And I feel like, hrrmmm, the Universe wants me accustomed to rooting myself in chaos – perhaps in preparation for things to come (yikes!). Thus I try being accepting of it. Still, some days are better than others …

      Anyhow, dear man, welcome back! Good to hear your voice.


  2. I loved this post Bela. Specially I like the way you have ended this post with a hope.
    I was never good at multitasking, and there is no hope that one day I will be. So it was quite easy for me to get identified with this post.
    I like one line, which you have written, “. I was actually reduced to asking the earnest young woman at the cell service to hold a moment while I screamed.”
    Thank you for this great post Bela. 🙂


  3. I can relate! There’s been a lot of upheaval in my life too and a few odd curve balls. I called my IRA company last week when I received a statement saying my account balance was zero and the account balance for the prior statement period was also zero. (I don’t often open these statements so I wondered how long the account was zero.) I dialed the number on the statement with a queasy feeling in my stomach thinking I was the victim of identity theft. I talked to someone who reassured me that everyone received that statement in error. All I could do was laugh and laugh while I felt my blood pressure drop.
    Now I know that’s nothing like moving twice in two months. The thought of having to relocate twice in two months doesn’t appeal to me at all! I don’t like feeling uprooted. I think most of my life I have been craving sanctuary. When life feels like it’s moving too fast it’s nice to place my feet on the ground in a place I can call my home. I like a home base to operate from although I find myself living between two homes. My life is a bit hectic and sometimes it seems I really live out of my car.
    I also like what you wrote about the end of the Maya calendar designating a shift of the axis of the earth. I know the earth’s axis tilts with the seasons such that in summer the axis is more vertical so the northern hemisphere gets longer day length and in winter the axis tips away from the sun such the the sun never rises very high in the sky and the days are shorter. Hopefully if there’s a change to this seasonal shift it’s gradual and doesn’t reek too much havoc on a already overstressed biosphere. If it has the effect of slowing down all the social and political chaos I welcome it. I get an image of slack tide when the greatest turbulence occurs with incoming and outgoing tide and the slack tide being like hitting a pause button. Maybe December 21st 2012 will be like a multidimensional pause button.


    1. Well, what you describe definitely has a ring to it – feels familiar in the vein of what’s been happening for me.
      I, too, do not enjoy being uprooted! I long to plant myself somewhere for awhile, once again. I don’t think I’d make a good herdsman 😉
      I love your description of a ‘multidimensional pause button.’ I will hold that thought dear to my heart! And pray I don’t consider it boring due to all the chaos I have learned to live amidst.
      Cheers, Mary Lee. Hope you are enjoying your summer on the coast.


  4. hmmm, sorry to like and run. I do want to tell you that you have inspired me to find the time, somehow, to write of my own upheavals… The imagery of the tilted axis is marvelous. Coincidentally, I am reading a book on the Mayans…when I get to read, that is. Oh this is so cliche – I just want to send you a warm hug, Bela 🙂


    1. Haha – like and run 😉
      I am happy I provided writing inspiration for you, dear one. Meanwhile, we’ve just completed our 2nd move in 2 months – and I must say, I am beat. No time to write this week – or to read! Must catch up with both, and soon.
      Warm hugs back to you, VL. Do take care.


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