Unmoored

As a writer, it seems I’ve come to this strange juncture of late, where words are beside the point. It’s not writers’ block, because I could always write about anything under the sun. It’s more like a space in time where I find I’m fatigued by the effort of using language. Has this ever happened to you?

I used to ‘hate’ math, or anything to do with numbers. Yet most of my life I have experienced deep encounters with the symbolic. And, similar to Carl Jung, it is toward these symbols that I feel compelled – especially the more I observe language used and abused, whether in conversation or in written form. Is this the sort of world Einstein inhabited? If so, I’ve missed my calling as a mathematician!

Words are powerful instruments that connect and lend us a common thread to follow. Yet if the pen is mightier than the sword, are symbols not more powerful than the locution we employ in describing them? Further, how are thoughts transmitted to begin with? Are they not formulated from a place essentially void of verbiage? Even if we label certain impulses feelings, it requires a secondary effort to interpret them. It removes one from the emotion, itself – which admittedly can sometimes be a good thing. And yet …

So here I am, writing about not using words! Perhaps I’m trying to excuse my lack of verbosity this past month or more. But honestly? I’m simply in the frame of mind I have described right now, not sure in which direction I am headed. Maybe, as Joni Mitchell lyricized in Woodstock, it’s the time of year, or maybe it’s the time of man – and I don’t know who I am, but life is for learnin’… I’m not experiencing distress, though I do feel a bit unmoored. Drifting off into an ocean of possibilities, it feels right to simply go with the flow.

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4 comments on “Unmoored”

  1. Fascinating. How great that you took time to articulate during this phase of non-verbiage. I’ve been going through a change as well – and I welcome change, but it’s had me wondering…

    Many times during the day now, I see repeated numbers or ‘numbers in palindrome’ – if that’s an acceptable phrase. There’s an acceleration of time, repeated numbers, perfect solutions and validating phenomena. For me, this is a huge opening and invitation. I’m enjoyng it.

    With words, I want to use fewer. I want to read and write SUMMARIES. I find my enthusiasm for explaining anything fizzles. Half-way through writing or speaking, I’ll become bored and want to stop. I’ve wondered if it’s because deep inside, I suspect the questions are being asked for the sake of chatter rather than genuine interest. Or, since the person has not put their time or effort into learning something about it themselves, I don’t want to delude myself that I’m using my time effectively.

    While reading your post, a little “aha” happened. We’re reaching for the ability to communicate telepathically. That fits for me. I want to simply turn my eyes to the wall and project the information.

    Are you letting the genie out of the bottle, Bela?

    • Haha Amy, not sure about genies and bottles 😉 I’ve walked in at least two worlds for a very long time, and perhaps accept magic as simply part of life. Indeed there seems to be something more going on than meets the eye. Transformation appears to be at hand, for how could it not be, at this, the 12th hour of ‘the human experiment?’
      An elder friend and I were having this very conversation today – she’s 78, and was saying how she’s always known there are levels of existence we have only begun to tap into while here on earth. I agree, for I’ve experienced amazing close encounters, over the years. That being said, the nature of what I’ve observed has changed. It used to be ‘phenomena,’ which now feels more integrated and ‘commonplace.’
      Now that (I? we?) no longer ‘need’ phenomena to amaze, are we collectively stepping into that other-dimensional awareness that seemed only an invitation, say, twenty years ago? I suspect you of all people may be contemplating this very thing. Correct me if I’m wrong.
      Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful reply to my own musings.

  2. Love this. There are times when I just want to free-fall with words, and times when they just won’t …won’t. Not a mental block, but just – well, you expressed it better than I can, obviously! It reminds me of some of Escher’s paintings, actually. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  3. Igg, I love your comments. Yes! Not a block really – not at all. Just a feeling of unnecessary banter when there is so much more being conveyed through other means.
    Escher is one of my favorite visual artists! My daughters, both artists, love his work as well.
    Thanks, Igg. Cheers!


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