SINE QUA NON

 

I write.

Not because I must,
or because I am compelled
by some unseen force
like the devil nipping at my backside.

I used to write to expel emotion,
to coax forth whatever poison lingered
from the confusion of youth,
to purge whatever angst, anger, judgment
and torment could be vented
from a tortured soul onto paper.

I used to think that with all that disquietude shaken out,
I wouldn’t have much to say.
I was wrong.

Now I write because there is beauty in the world,
because, by nature, I contemplate
most everything I encounter.
I write because I love words,
have always loved them.
I love crafting and choosing just the right mot
to color my verbal canvas in particular hues.

I do not force writing,
do not demand it be undertaken daily.
Words simply appear when inspiration strikes,
when there is something to say.

I’d write if I never had an audience.
I don’t worry about publishing or being published.
I’ve a lifetime’s worth in stacks and files
if I cared to push something into print.
It’s not a priority.

Rather the day unfolds as it will, full
as I wish it to be like those carefully chosen words.

I choose instead of chase.
I ponder rather than wander.
Like a pentameter panther, I pace.

8 comments on “SINE QUA NON”

  1. I’m just returning to blogging because the school year is winding down and I can. I love your poems every bit as much as I did before.

  2. This touched me. Thank you. I love how this feels.

  3. Hey Bela! I’m new to the blogging world and have read some of your posts, you share through your words a very positive spirit, full of encouragement, and this particular script speaks to me in a blessed way!!

  4. To write because there is beauty in the world is wonderful.

    I actually felt really depressed last night as I stumbled upon – by looking at videos on the internet, I stumbled upon one of absolute animal cruelty in China. Two trainers beating the life out of a lion that so so needed to be freed. I felt so, so down at that.

    For you to remind me there is beauty in the world was very timely.

    • Oh gosh, I cannot watch those videos. I can’t. While I know these things go on in this world, and I do know it and more, I have to focus on what is right; to place my awareness and attention on beauty and redemption. It doesn’t mean I hide my head in the sand, and I pray for the human race and for all creatures on this planet and for the planet itself. We are such an interesting species; such paradox existing in our deeds and presentation. I take action on various online sites to stop the damage of animals, of marginalized human beings, of a planet in crisis – and I pray. Outside of that, I cannot linger on destruction, or I myself will get swallowed up in it. I have to concentrate on beauty so I may be of help to others and to myself. I have to give Nature her due. In spite of everything, she keeps convincing me that it’s a beautiful world.


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