As a writer and an introvert, I need solitude. Lots of it, every day. Mental, physical, psychic, energetic space in which to recharge and to maintain balance. The older I get, the greater the impulse toward spaciousness, as if somehow my spirit knows that, by the end, I can’t take anything with me but pure consciousness. Where I am at that exit point is the platform from which I will dive into eternity. No deathbed redemption, no excuses. The work, for me, is ongoingly in the here and now.

To clear a path in the wilds requires careful culling. As I continue learning from and rearranging the natural world, it follows that I would, at some point, embrace the concept of complementarity. I wish I’d learned it sooner. Being a giver by nature, I have finally grown weary of users and the disingenuous. I have, at long last, developed discernment between unconditional acceptance and determining who to share the depths of my soul with.

I used to think that cutting the detritus from my life meant throwing others away. Now I realize I am not metaphorically tossing human bodies onto rubbish heaps, I am simply recognizing certain incompatibilities. All beings possess value. Utilizing that concept to lift others up is what I seek to practice more consistently. Thus it is almost imperative to cultivate this trait in those with whom I share quality time; my joys as well as my deepest sorrows. To hold one another dearly requires a depth of genuine, heartfelt expression that mirrors back and forth, encouraging a greater mutual contribution to the whole. To cherish this closeness requires more than concepts and words. Like any good polyculture, it requires the dynamism of reciprocity.


16 thoughts on “Reciprocity

  1. As always thoughtful post, Bela. I love the way you look at life from a different perspective and share your thoughts with us.
    Is it not a challenge for all of us to find people with whom we can share depth of our soul!

    1. It is true, Arindam, about the challenge in finding others with whom we can share our deepest selves. I have been too cavalier about this in the past, but am becoming far more circumspect. I can pray for all sentient beings and wish them well, while taking better care of my own needs and my own spirit. That way, I have more to give those who are truly in *need* rather than tossing my energy into the bottomless pit of another’s *wants.* I don’t think we’re doing anybody any favors by making ourselves an easy target. And it actually might prevent us from opening up to other possibilities; other relationships that, together, contribute to the goodness and abundance of a world sorely in need of it.

      Blessings to you! Thanks for your comments, as always.

    1. Ronnie, thanks so much. I think one gets to a stage in life where priorities simply start falling into place, and if we are attentive, life seems to restore us; balance us out. Or perhaps it’s not life so much as it is our bodies.


  2. Thank-you, Bela. whether it’s age or experience that has brought us here, it’s divine to know we don’t have to twist and mold ourselves to fit into someone else’s category. It almost feels that life is too short to waste the time. I’m glad you said it out loud. 🙂

    1. Kathi, from the response I’ve gotten from several sources (Facebook, email, WP), I think the post was timely for many of us. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Aloha!

  3. Hello Bela,

    I seem to be visiting you after a while. Not sure why but I seem to have lost my “following” status with you and the new post alerts have stopped coming….

    Loved the post as always. I guess it all boils down to an awareness that we neither hold the ability nor the need to ” change the world and other folks” to fall into our template of likes and dislikes.The wisdom to understand what no longer serves, the futility to try and add our own two pennies worth of value comes with age I suppose.

    So as you hold this perspective of reciprocity, what intentions make sense?



    1. Shakti, great to see you again. This is a problem with WordPress, I’m afraid. I’ve been a blogger here for two years now, and here’s what I’ve noticed: Suddenly people will go missing out of my feed, including you as well. Then, scrolling down through all my “Follows,” it occurs to me that some blogs I’ve really enjoyed for a long time don’t seem to be posting. What I’ve done (and will do again, now I am reminded) is to ‘unfollow,’ then ‘follow’ again. That seemed to work in the past.

      I think you’re right in that age confers a certain wisdom regarding many things, but in this case relationships. I also think some of us are more loathe to let go, trying to preserve something out of a respect for history even when it no longer makes sense. But at this point, I am able to step back more often and obtain perspective. Life is simply too short to continue with what is inauthentic, or what certainly appears to be so, both in myself as well as others. Curiously at this point, I cut myself ‘more’ slack while pruning the detritus of others’ perceived needs which impinge upon my own ingegrity and/or spirit. If that makes sense!

      Aloha, and so happy to see your comment appear in my email! And now, some WP housekeeping …

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