Living Loving (Drop the Maid)

Who would have thought that looking up one’s age as a number on the periodic table of elements would result in another amazing revelation? Yet here I am, just turned sixty, googling my element like a child on a scavenger hunt. Here’s what I discover:

Neodymium is the 60th element discovered by Carl F. Auer von Welsbach at 1885 in Austria. The origin of the element’s name is from the Greek words “neos didymos” meaning “new twin.”

The irony strikes me twice. Being born in June, my Western astrological sign is Gemini, or The Twins. The other synchronicity is that this year, my sixtieth, marks a once-in-a-lifetime Chinese Water Snake return to cosmic influences present when I was born. As this snake sheds her skin, the “new twin” emerges.

If you’ve been following this blog, you’ve doubtlessly realized I’m coming to grips with cutting away the dross; reframing relationships to others and thus, to the world at large. A different paradigm is in the offing; one that is a vast improvement over the sacrificing people pleaser I was raised to embody. While my basic nature remains intact, I am leaning further into balance, tuning into reciprocity. We women can tend to give to the degree that we end up casualties of our own lives. Just because we can multitask the pants off of men, for example, doesn’t mean that we should. Also our collective breasts seem under attack these days; cancer has taken too many sisters down. The do-it-all mentality is not healthy for me, any more than for those I come in contact with.

This theme brings to mind instructions given on every flight I’ve ever taken: should a mother and child be present during a cabin pressure failure, the mother is to take in oxygen first from the drop-down mask, then place the mask over the face of her child. That way, she is actually prepared to be of assistance. Or as Brewer and Shipley sang the year I graduated high school, We’ve got to fill the cup with love, and keep working on the well.

Better late than never.

For the entire Oliver Sacks article that prompted this post, click here.


Oh, and just in case it needs clarification, I realize some of you might miss the thrust of the title, “Living Loving (Drop the Maid).” This refers to an old Led Zeppelin song “Living Loving Maid.” Should you desire, you could google the lyrics.

6 thoughts on “Living Loving (Drop the Maid)

  1. Hi Bela,

    Incredible is it not that as you align yourself with the periodic table, you start seeing further signs of alignment in your life. Incredible also that as you gain consciousness to “cut away the dross”, let go of that need to be a “people pleaser” and show up as a more authentic”You”, diametrically on the other side of the planet, I start envisaging a life without my masks! Could this be due to a thought field linking all of us that science has yet to discover?

    I have always wondered what is that intrinsic perspective that makes women to be such high degree “givers”. I have seen this close up in my own mother. In her eightieth decade of existence, she knows no greater joy than being a provider to all she comes in touch with. Does such ‘joy’ come from the feminine genes or from a life long conditioning?

    As always, visiting your posts is always such an enriching experience for me Bela that I need to acknowledge you for that.I feel blessed.


    1. Shakti, you bring up a couple of salient points. First, I do believe there are certain waves of thought energy that a few of us pick up on at the same time. Maybe it’s astrological or cosmic or whatever, or maybe it’s the 100th Monkey Syndrome and suddenly we’re the 100th or 101st monkey, ‘getting it’ all of a sudden. I’ve noticed this over the years, especially in my professional field as a Medical Intuitive. Some call this ‘synchronicity.’

      The second is on the subject of women as givers. I think it comes naturally to us as a gender, for we give birth and, should we lack this trait, we would leave our young out in the wilderness to perish. I also value archetypes, having studied Jung over several years. Perhaps your mother is more influenced by one of the archetypes strongly correlating to Giver, while some of us may have giving as a constant background static. But maybe our soul is reaching more for Seeker, or whatever.

      And yes, conditioning is certainly part of anything any of us do, is it not? Your mom is also in my mother’s generation, so there’s definitely what I call a generational karma there. Our generation seems on a wholly unique trajectory, as is that of my daughters. At least that’s how I see it. We are all One, yes, but we do seem to have collective drives that are motivated by several factors too onerous to enumerate here.

      Blessings, Shakti, and thanks once again for taking the time to carefully read and comment on one of my posts. Yours is definitely one I look for through the maze that is my Reader 😉

  2. Bela,
    Happy 60th birthday! Thanks for posting the link to Oliver Sacks article. Having just turned 50 years old I find myself thinking a lot lately on what it feels like to be half a century old. Today as I was bicycling the carriage roads in Acadia National Park, I thought about how some of the stone bridges will soon be a century old. As I bicycled across one today with the date of 1926, I wondered if I will be bicycling over it when it’s a century old and I’m 63.
    Your post and Oliver Sacks’ article prompted my curiosity of which element is number 50 on the periodic table. The 50th element is tin. It’s light-weight compared to the 79th which is gold and the 80th which is mercury. From that perspective, I feel light and youthful.
    It’s refreshing and validating to read your posts about balance and reciprocity rather than being a constantly self-sacrificing people pleaser. It’s not always so easy to set limits with the bottomless needs of others and to do it graciously. Maybe because I’m 50 (I’ve had a lot of practice), I’ve gotten better at not accepting the manipulative terminology that others use to define me.
    I woke up recently with the symbol of infinity having been prominent in my dream. I have since been experiencing the synchronicity of seeing this symbol frequently. In the dream it wasn’t so much a static image but had a rhythmic feeling to the tracing of the loops back and forth. To me this is not so much a symbol of “infinity” so much as it is a symbol of balance and reciprocity.
    Thanks again for your thought provoking posts. It sure beats the mass media messaging telling me how inadequate I am.

    1. Mary Lee, as always I am energized by your input. Thanks for the birthday wishes, and for your kind appreciation of my work.

      YES, aging has its merits! Believe me, it’s not in the tone of muscles or the tiredness in bones, but I would take wisdom over physique any day! And so age confers these understandings, if we are vigilant to the signs and signals.

      I love your dream of the infinity symbol. I actually utilized that visual with a client today, so thanks! 😉 I love that you equate it with balance and reciprocity, both which fit handily for me, as well. To achieve one, I need to set the boundary for the other.

      And by the way, you do know you are far from inadequate. Enjoy Acadia – I do miss those carriage paths! xoxo

    1. Hey, Stephanie! I know, it’s been too long since I’ve visited your blog as well. My Reader gets overloaded, then I have to go through and cull. And then those I’ve followed the longest somehow get dropped. It’s all a WordPress conspiracy, I’m convinced 😉

      Thanks for coming by and commenting! Aloha.

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