TKR: In Remembrance


Everyone is so afraid of death, but the real sufis just laugh; nothing tyrannizes their hearts. What strikes the oyster shell does not damage the pearl.

~ Jelaluddin Rumi

There’s mystic beauty in the Kohala mountain range, visible through picture windows overhead. The bluest sky and the kindness of strangers contrast the polished wooden box of ashes draped with mementos and lei. It’s why we carry on, I suppose, with this push/pull paradox of living. 

Vigilant for justifications to persevere, we discover hearts strengthened by this young woman’s radiant smile. All that remains is her photograph, yet it still lights up the room. Here, mourning contrasts the clatter of the outside world, carrying on as it does with laughter and petulance; calibrations and artifice. Not yet pared to essentials, it is easy to take others for granted until empty arms no longer embrace the beloved, transcending worlds.

Thus redemption is discovered, not in an imaginary world none of us is sure of, but in the eternal love sensed in the cells, just as every tree and flower lean toward the light and effortlessly surrender temporal bodies to the soil. Our spirits are nourished by the compost of kindness; enlarged through a desire to reach out and comfort another. Grief shakes out the folds of insecurity and judgment, uniting us in what is common to the human experience.

None living are exempt from this cycle of existence. And so we bless you on your journey, dear one, and merge back into the traffic that is our lives.


2 thoughts on “TKR: In Remembrance

  1. Dear Bela,

    What a mystical and inspirational post!

    What is it that halts us from the acceptance of, as you say, ” Our spirits are nourished by the compost of kindness; enlarged through a desire to reach out and comfort another….?” What is that which stops us from realising the core of a process that occurs around us 24X7, “…just as every tree and flower lean toward the light and effortlessly surrender temporal bodies to the soil ?”

    Is it an aspect of our self preservation in an uncertain and unknown tomorrow? Or is it a conditioning that we have gone through as part of our process of socialisation?

    Bela, you have left me musing about aspects intrinsic to me that I scarcely think of. Aspects which by their very nature, pushes me into a space of uncertainity and thereby discomfort. Is that why I avoid, is it my conditioning rearing its head? I thank you for this.



    P.S. What is TKR? Am I being an ignoramus?


    1. Shakti, dear: no, you are not being ignorant – the initials are those of the young woman who died.

      As to my perceptions of why many are discomfited by death, I would say it’s because it’s one of those unavoidable facts of life. All of us dies, we just don’t know when it will happen. And, if socialization rears its head, it would likely be in this regard: we are conditioned, most of us, to believe we have some control over our circumstances and our lives – or at least we are encouraged to maintain the illusion. Instead, Death proves control itself to be the illusion.

      On the up-side, even scientists recognized that energy never dies, it only changes form. Why would humans be the sole exception to this rule? Thus, is it our form we are attached to, or the uncertainty of ‘where we go next’ that unsettles? I suspect it’s different for each person, depending on what beliefs prop them up. Personally, I prefer to free-fall into each moment as it comes, as much as possible; to surrender to life on its own terms while I have the privilege to experience this amazing physical existence. And then? The next grand adventure awaits! Meanwhile, I embrace the miracle of life on this splendid planet earth. Each day is truly a gift.

      Blessings, namaste, and Aloha.


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