D’Alliance

Have you ever thought to yourself,
if only this person would see my heart,
if blame and fear were set aside,
we might forge truer bonds?

It is always surprising when another
remains unwilling to own their part,
especially when friends drop
like dominoes, again and again.

Surely it is not always the other’s fault?

When a well-trod higher road proves insufficient,
an exasperated distance gains last resort.
Humans have feelings, after all.

While it is difficult to stop blaming oneself
for actions beyond understanding,
it might be equally onerous for another
to stop offloading personal responsibility
onto others.

Life is the great teacher,
may we learn well.
Open to learning, one must realize
humility has many recalcitrant students.

10 comments on “D’Alliance”

  1. Beautiful with so much truth.

  2. I have always hoped that my parents were ‘right’ that I trusted people too much and that I wore my heart on my sleeve. This eliminated any games on my part, at least! Smiles and loving the way you expressed this, Bela. Wisdom does help us understand better, when we get older. I love the final line, so true! (recalcitrant students… ha ha!)

    • Haha yes, Robin 😉 Stubbornness serves in the way of perseverence through adversity, for example. It does not, however to my mind, serve well in human relations.
      Thanks as always for your kind two cents’ worth!

  3. Dear Bela,

    Great opening verse.

    “Have you ever thought to yourself,
    if only this person would see my heart,
    if blame and fear were set aside,
    we might forge truer bonds?
    …….. ”

    But of course, it is only because of the ‘blame & fear’ we hold inside that becomes the reason why we would not like others to see within. And as we go through life, we also learn the art of showing up with a false facade for fear that what is inside might get revealed. Over time, we become that facade. As each one of us goes around with these inauthentic facades ( to a greater or lesser degree, but never without!), the way reality occurs for each of us differs. The classic Reality illusion, the genesis of all differences and disputes.

    So with such baggage that we carry through life, how could we forge truer bonds?

    Shakti

    • Aloha Shakti! Have missed your voice.
      Yes, it’s true – we are the product of conditioning. Yet there is always a choice to muster the desire to shed the cloak of inauthenticity and get down to what is real. Of course this begins with a trusted one or a few, and becomes easier with ‘practice.’ Then we begin to glimpse, at least in my own experience, that the world is as safe a place as we believe it to be; that people are as trustworthy as we grant them access to be, and the rest doesn’t matter. Realizing that, if someone responds to us unkindly, it is Their baggage and not our insufficiency.
      Always a choice, many choices, priorities, desires … and in the end, will we harbor regrets? Will we burden ourselves with ‘if only,’ torturing ourselves in our last days of this magnificent life?
      I know this is more difficult for some than for others, I’ll grant that. Yet at the same time, have we not come into this physical universe to learn, to discover, to grow?
      I can think of no more important work while we are here.
      Thanks so much, as always, for your comments. Hoping you are well!
      Bela

  4. I read this piece three times Bela, which, although I am not particularly slow, I think is necessary in order to absorb its universal applicability, and from which, none of us are excluded. Many congratulations on another very fine piece of work.

    Hariod. ❤

    • Aloha Hariod. Yes, I wasn’t being deliberately obscure, though it took several edits to convey my thoughts in just the right words. I struggle more with drawing in pastels, where the fixation is on capturing what seems precise rather than letting the lines blur a bit, stretching beyond commonly held perceptions. If a thing is thus and so because it’s universally accepted, my attempt is ever to seek beyond the boundaries to glimpse another purview. It’s ever challenging 😉 As always, thank you for offering your kind thoughts. Aloha.

  5. “humility has many recalcitrant students”

    So you noticed? 🙂


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