Mothers Day Contemplations
So here’s my Mothers Day suggestion:
Try (and this might be really difficult) seeing your mother as a fallible human being, acknowledging her own problems and struggles and faults. It’s hard not to have expectations or fantasies about an archetypal figure like Mother or Father, though possessing this kind of sensitivity far exceeds any Mothers Day gift you may be contemplating. It adds depth to your own character, and is a sign of great maturity.
I don’t know a mother past her fifties who is free from regrets about her own mothering. The struggles of an emerging adult who already thinks she’s fully formed take on a whole new meaning with the birth of a first child. Your mother is growing right along with you, either self aware or in spite of herself. We can’t always have the former, but the latter is assured, whether she likes it or not.
Be kind to this person who loves you so very unconditionally. Do not simply await her endless giving as though it is your lifelong birthright. Realize she is conditioned to sacrifice, and try alleviating her suffering. She will hold you in her heart until she dies, a rare quality to find in a partner or friend. And that is what we celebrate on this day.
photo of me and my mother, 1953