Just because we are doesn’t mean we always
must be.

Who ever convinced me but myself,
long yardstick held over my own head,
measuring down, not measuring up,
listening out instead of listening in.

This is the time, there is no other.
I sit in mindfulness,
at long last the Observer
of my own folly and fabulousness.

When a nagging voice queries,
Who said so? Is that right?! 
quaking illusory future colliding
with enjoyment of the present,
I gently recall vermiculite beginnings
and all speak to me of purpose.

Mostly I am standing here in this moment
alongside past and future, animated ink blot
pausing time and space
to record, perchance to experience
the glory gift of this existence.

2015-07-09 22.18.15

13 thoughts on “Pause

  1. Yes what a glorious gift this existence is Bela.. and so true how often we beat ourselves over the head ..
    Its good to step out of ourselves and Let go of our past self limitations, and live in our Now Moments as we Enjoy each breath of today and stop worrying over tomorrow and stop dragging up the past.

    You brought us a wonderful gift .. Thank you Bela.. and good to have caught you post in my reader this evening as I endeavour to catch up with a few back log of posts.. <3.. Have a Wonderful Week in your garden… Blessings Sue ❤


    1. Thanks for your thoughtful comments, Sue. Always good to see you here 😉
      Past self limitations or present self limitations? For me, it’s easy at this point to remain in the present tense, yet the fine tuning continues. So subtle, so insidious, and pretty soon, there is an unease creeping in like an ill wind … I suspect this work continues indefinitely, and I am happy just to be aware. So relieved not to feel like an ant on a hotplate anymore.
      Aloha, dear woman! Trust you’re enjoying your own garden time ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This I found mesmeric in its beauty and immediacy Bela; you have such an extraordinary gift in word selection, and of course, in weaving a poetic whole from those pristine parts. You never have me fumbling for meaning in too-clever-by-half abstractions, but instead have me working patiently over alluded-to deeper meanings, as I read and read yet again. H ❤


    1. Hariod, you too have an extraordinary gift with words – I am perpetually humbled by your thoughtful praise of my word-work. And I am happy, too, that you are not lost in ‘clever-by-half abstractions,’ as these are surely what come to me when I am compelled to compose a piece. The hardest thing, and I think Einstein also commented on this challenge – is to utilize one’s gifts (with numbers, concepts, wit, words, whatever) and present as intelligibly and simply as possible, so that others might participate in pondering what one is setting forth.

      In this flash-in-the-pan world where most folks’ attention span dribbles down to fractions of a second, having you tell me you actually linger over my piece gives me great joy. Thank you, as ever, for your being. Aloha! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You have given substance to what it is I now face. “Just because we are, doesn’t mean we always must be”. Between healing from heart surgery, retiring and trying to sell the house I find more time on my hands than ever and reflection is my company.


    1. Aloha, Renee. I, too, faced such a time ten years ago when we moved to the islands after many years of my successful career, raising kids, being well known for my radio, writing, practice. Here nobody knew me, which at first seemed a relief. Only later did I realize my ego missed being acknowledged for the work I was doing. Before leaving, we sold the lovely lakeside house I had lived in almost 30 years; disassembled our lives, left my youngest behind in her junior year at a local college. Six thousand miles away, reflection became my constant companion. And it has been here that I have continued writing as an outcropping of that reflective time, not simply as an observer. So it has deepened and enriched both my writing but also my life in so many ways. I wish the same kind of richness for you! 🙂


  4. Your poem, Pause, is beautiful and thoughtful. I had to share it on my Facebook page. Please forgive my questioning mind. Will it never give me peace? As I was introducing your poem, I questioned. I tried to stop the question as it seemed to get in the way. Spirit knows my tendency to question everything and,I believe, deliberately sets me up to do so. The statement that I didn’t want to question because it sounded so beautiful, “Just because we are doesn’t mean we always must be. But, it does. Once we have been and are, then we surely must always be, unless the final “be” was intended to preface “whatever”. But, to be is absolute and infinitely so, in some sense. Energy is never lost, and we are That, whatever That is. Please argue with me. Love,


    1. Haha, you are so cute 😉
      What was meant when I wrote this is that just because we are (short-tempered, uneducated, a ‘bad’ friend, a ‘bad’ artist) doesn’t mean we always must be that or those things. We can always learn and grow, and needn’t condemn ourselves to labels and fixations.
      But I get your meaning as well 😉
      I love that you question things – I always have, as well! How else to continue growing?
      Love back 😀 And thank you for your very kind compliments.


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