She wanted to end her life,
this was It.
Thousands of times before repeating
and repeating requests unheard,
the heart of the matter.

What is life worth
if not embracing paradox;
anything less is negating its own terms,

Acceptance is, perhaps,
what we have come to learn.
Eyes wide open, notice all around
bursts of energy leaking through rust
in human veneer, wasted
on doing battle with what Is.

Complicating the dance, gods
in multicolored costumes called
by other names even they
cannot know.

If we realized identities
of the Masters leveled squarely
in our blistering sights, blurred now
through the lens cap of confusion,
sacrificial lambs bleating defeatedly
at misplaced accusations, blame
for our own lack of peace and contentment,
what then?


9 thoughts on “Slash

  1. Powerful and poignant Bela. It seems acceptance is at the heart of it all, and yet remains that most elusive of all states. We pay lip service in its lieu, mumbling New-Agey incantations and telling ourselves “but it’s okay”. And it works on a superficial level, or perhaps as an ego-boosting reflection. To truly accept life in all its humbling glory requires a knowledge way beyond the most of us; better surely then, to use a passive acknowledgement of our despair and suffering rather than seek to hide in the imagined oblivion of death. It seems that fighting our despair – rejecting it – only worsens matters. Untangling the knot of thoughts and feelings which themselves comprise despair reveals the lack of substance within; it’s just a thought; it’s just a feeling; all these things pass; the knot is an illusion of my own doing; I can be free of this. It is not easy, though it can be done. Hope and resolve will prove this to us.

    Many congratulations on another wonderful piece of work Bela. H ❤

    1. Aloha Hariod, and absolutely I agree. Denial and rejection perpetuate suffering like nothing else I can think of. Un-knotting confusion seems key, and for sure it’s a process. I remember well this overall sense of confusion, yet time and persistence and a fierce willingness to accept whatever pops into consciousness has, for me, been key. Suffer long enough and getting to the truth of one’s tangled feelings seems a worthwhile pursuit. Affirming the ‘hope and resolve’ parts you mention, to finally settle into oneself with comfort and humor is true peace and contentment, not merely an affirmation-coated sugar tablet temporariness of a workshop ‘high.’

      Of course this being said, there will be many sparks or “Aha!” moments along the way, and they are worth celebrating, for sure. Yet always returning to the metaphoric and sometimes literal breath provides anchor in an emotional sea of vexation. Seeking neither the extreme highs or lows (the “Ah, so” setpoint of Tibetan Buddhist practices) is useful, as well.

      Many thanks for your keen reflections, dear one, and blessings. ❤

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