THOSE THINGS WE CARRY

Most of the things we carry did not come
through a portal straight into our hands.
Most of the things we carry
were collected then forgotten like stones
on a dusty shelf somewhere in the recesses
of our home and mind.

Still these burdens are there, churning around
inside like corpuscles winking signals
across the blank screen of a vacant movie theatre.
Maybe one day we venture in, hungry
for entertainment and we are not choosy.
Maybe we are triggered by another person.

In either case, the projector whirrs to life,
seeming at first to offer inchoate, fragmented clips
that make no sense. Then slowly images form,
both benign and shocking, as we realize the subject
of this movie is uncomfortably close to the bone.
This movie reflects those things we carry.

The great thing about previews is we can walk
away from the shock and awe
while we contemplate meaning, relevance.
The great thing about our own movie trailer
is the ability to edit, eliminating preconceptions
and memorized dialogue while updating the content
and tone of the production until, at long last, we procure
for ourselves a different conclusion.

13 comments on “THOSE THINGS WE CARRY”

  1. Wonderful Bela: Psycho-foley rather than psycho-folly? “Corpuscles winking signals across the blank screen of a vacant movie theatre” – what a fabulous image; it really chimed with me. Many thanks for this, and congratulations once again. H ❀

    • For sure, Hariod – foley seems apropos here πŸ˜‰ (Had to look that one up!)
      Thanks as always for your praise and appreciation. And typo noted and corrected! Groan… ❀

  2. I think it is hard to be on the same wave length. I wonder if we just were able to let people know where we were at on important things maybe we would face reality and not a fantasy or fictionalized movie. I liked the last part of your blog, Bela.

  3. Bela, this was so interesting of how we may see our past, our stories through different lenses. We can recreate our story in the future but really what our impression of our past is usually ingrained upon our minds. It may soften with time though. We may re-invent and evolve as we keep going on this earth.
    On my first comment I should have added that with a partner or sibling we may differ greatly on how things “went down,” Bela. Hugs, Robin

    • Robin, didn’t mean to overlook your first comment. Rather I was trying to enter into the post with your eyes before doing so. It’s so interesting how others interpret one’s creative work – especially poetry, as it can be so revealing but also so obscure, depending.

      This particular poem was written about the inner process of self deception, of neural conditioning of the brain, if you will. A refusal of sorts to ‘be here now.’ I was referring less to the story one tells oneself about one’s life than to the collection of random events or memories that suspend ‘the moment’ and insert instead a ‘reaction’ (as opposed to a response from one’s Presence).

      Maybe this is too esoteric – but I hope it explains a bit more. Thanks aways Robin for taking time to read and comment. I appreciate it! ❀ Bela

      • It is great to read your direction you were thinking about in your poem. I have learned through my brother a fairly renowned artist, that he likes to hear “what do you see in my srt?” This is,a sign of his growth, since when I used to tell him my interpretation he would roll his eyes. Lol. Brother’s are less tolerant of their sisters than total strangers at an art gallery! πŸ™‚ I am sue you have written something meaningful to yourself and those who can keep up with your educated neural pathways!! πŸ™‚ Hope you have a wonderful holiday season. β™‘

      • Haha, Robin, thank you πŸ˜‰ Best to you as well! ❀

  4. This is such a cleverly written poem.. Penned with internal dialogue from the tapes of records kept deep within the archives of memory..
    Yes, I often can be seen in the still of the darkroom, late at night, pulling out such films of the long ago past, that I long thought I had sent to the incinerator.. But no.. they replay often as the day they were made, And I try as the producer of my destiny to edit them, and give them a brighter ending… before I put them back, into the metal tin that I had thought once sealed..

    Your poem I thought was excellent Bela.. and it projected its image clearly within my heart.. .. Making me realise I still have within my own archives, much still that needs clearing out.. xxx ❀

    Thank you Bela for your lovely visit too…. I appreciate very much you stopping by to comment.. πŸ™‚ Love ❀ Sue

  5. Wherever we go we take all the pieces gathered from our lives with us and too much of the time come away with only that which we ‘want’ to believe and not enough of what is truly the reality. I so enjoy your site and need to get by more often. Thank You!

    • Thanks, dear one. Yes, I have a pet peeve with ‘belief’ being taken at face value as fact these days. Given the fervent nature of certain belief structures, it can be downright dangerous.


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