There is a presence, here
and now; the bellows of breath,
warmth of blood, the feeling,
even if imagined,
that we are connected, one
to the other.

We each have our memories,
after all.

Your passing removes that utterly,
and somehow the same hand
lying on the same fur and flesh
will sense void, not even spirit,
not even that.

One can forgive the athiest,
or even theist their doubts,
props, religions. For this
at least is real:
This. Here. Now.
Tomorrow it will be gone.

And no matter in visions I linger
in the numinous; despite
in the garden I witness the alchemy
of decay transforming
into green and vibrant,
the loss of a loving companion
is egregious, indeed.


24 thoughts on “Susami

      1. This sweet being has been with us only nine years, since she was about 10-12 weeks old. Her previous steward, a multiply-pierced and -tattooed young woman, had to find a home for her. We were on our way to the east coast to deal with some business, and I had taken our good friend Kevin with me to the local feed store to get the horse stocked up on alfalfa pellets (it was during a long drought). I saw the pup with a bandage on her leg before, and asked the gal what was wrong with her. I later learned from the store owner (who thanked me many, many times for giving Susami a good home) that the dog had been severely abused. (She never did tell me specifics, so I was left to wonder.) The young woman tried her best, but there were forces beyond her control in her environment. When I saw Susami again, we had to take her, but how? I asked Kev if he would watch yet one more animal for us while we were gone, and he happily agreed! So she joined our chocolate Lab who we brought with us to Hawaii from northern Maine (a Non-rescue). He was Thrilled to have that little creature’s companionship. Anyhow, that’s it, in a nutshell, Paul. Thanks for your caring.


  1. Oh, Bela, my heart is breaking for you all. It’s always so, so hard to do the right thing by our beloved companions. As you know, though, this is only one way we honor their trust in us and our mutual relationship. Bless you, bless you, bless you, dear one ❤


    1. Oh, Genie, thank you, thank you. Of course you know this kind of pain. The good news is the timing was right, and all who attended her today were kind. She was sent off in the best way possible. And yes, it IS how we honor that relationship. And we know the bargains we make with this journey through the physical world. Still, it’s a process – loving and leaving this good life, as Helen Nearing would say. Love to you.


  2. You’re a good poet. These are really good lines:
    And no matter in visions I linger
    in the numinous; despite
    in the garden I witness the alchemy
    of decay transforming
    into green and vibrant. . .
    Losing pets can be hard. I can’t imagine being without our two dogs.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So sad to log in today to read this post dear Bela.. such a wonderful tribute to a faithful friend and companion who only knew how to give unconditionally.. My heartfelt thoughts are with you.. I know of the void Susami must have left behind..
    Much love your way Bela xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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