Can one provision for events and circumstances
unseen, foil against unknown futures?
Is preparadness wise, as Girl Scouts
and Depression-raised parents tried inculcating,
though lessons failed to adhere
to a slippery consciousness, ready for life
on the edge of a growing awareness;

Willing to travel, relocate, anything to break bonds
of constriction, real or imaginary, cutting
off circulation, unable to breathe,
swimmers lungs broadening a back bent
with burdens both real and imaginary,
while treasures awaited casting off
the bleak fears she was raised to embrace,
part and parcel of Obedience writ large;

Try as she might, mistakes were made, all
in the growing, not the same but her own,
just as Mother said they would be;
learned instead to trust acceptance, inclusion;
preparedness an illusion in a rapidly changing world.


image: view from Lapakahi, bj 2016


16 thoughts on “Provisional

    1. Oh, good. Yes, to this day. Though we’re pretty content where we are. But if guys start amassing and goose stepping down the streets of US cities, we’re gone. I take nothing for granted. Aloha, David. And happiest of holidays to you!

    1. No, I think not – but who knows this in the hubris of youth? It would take a far more mature individual than I was to possess that kind of insight at a tender age. Aloha, BN. Hope you are enjoying the festive season 😉

  1. I can feel your soul through these words, Bela. And the last line, “preparedness an illusion in a rapidly changing world,” particularly strikes me. I know so many things happened that don’t make sense…continue to happen. It is hard to reconcile what I feel in my soul and what I see and hear with my eyes and ears. But I can tell you I prefer to “listen” to what comes from the inside, now, and that is a huge plus for me. Thank you for the beauty of your words and your soul and have a wonderful Christmas!! ❤

    1. Aloha, Lorrie, and yes, we live in strange times when broadly impactful changes can happen overnight. Best to remain light on one’s feet, I think, and take this as metaphor more than literally, though I’ve done plenty of the latter as well. This is so different from my parents’ generation and theirs before, where the older folks got, the more rigid they became. This is not only undesirable to me, but I think downright dangerous in these times. And it is so difficult to make certain changes – we moved 6000 miles from the east coast to Hawaii (twice in 20 years!). Between lightening our belongings and leaving family, friends and professional relationships behind, it was beyond stressful. Still, the rewards have been great and it has taught me the value of letting go and trusting in the process.

      You mention attending to the inside rather than what you hear or see, and I think that’s all we *can* do. Otherwise it is too easy to be swept into a group mindset which may or may not ultimately benefit us and/or those we come in contact with. Confusion is rampant, yet somehow our wisdom self guides us to the best course of action in whatever circumstance, if we can but listen. May you discover more peace and contentment in the upcoming year. Merry Christmas to you as well, Lorrie! ❤

  2. Ah!! Unknown future! More than once I have made inroads into the future…stepped into the unknown…to peep, to think, to decide…yet all decisions were taken by future!!
    This poem refreshes many memories Bela. Yes! Words of wisdom, of acceptance, of detachment and forgiveness are the only elves that bring calmness in this ever-changing life.
    Wishing you and your dear ones a very Happy and Healthy New Year. Enjoy your holidays dear friend 🙂

    1. Isn’t it true, then? I mean, I can value planning for its own sake – if I tell you I’ll meet you for coffee at 10, for sure I will be there. But overkill in the planning department is a futile gesture, as you’ve so eloquently affirmed. A dog chasing its own tail, only to discover the bowlful of yummy food just got eaten by a passing stray.

      Love the elf image 😉 Wishing you and your own dear ones love and contentment in the coming year. I hope we are able to discover a safe harbor in the maelstrom whirling around us. Aloha, Balroop ❤

  3. This work reminded me of a song played by a friend’s band called ‘Sliding Floor’. There’s a line in it that’s always stuck with me: Truth has a sliding floor. Over the years, I’ve found that to be (*hesitates*) . . . true! Everything’s provisional now, and I suppose I’m what they call a Relativist. Sure, I know that I’m currently sitting at my computer, drinking tea and communicating with Bela in Hawaii, and to say these things indeed corresponds to my current state of affairs; but even that’s an abstraction from ‘what is’ in being only a broad conceptualisation about the seemingly recent past and present. Still, as a parent I communicate to my offspring as if life can be corralled into secure certainties, for them and their offspring in turn. It seems an emotionally protective thing to do, and reasonably pragmatic too, until such time as they realise that those imagined certainties, like Santa Claus, are themselves stood upon sliding floors. Much love and gratitude to you, dear Bela. H ❤

    1. Yes, I like sliding floors, just as I liked the film Sliding Doors. It’s all in motion, all relative to whatever circumstance, wherever we are certain we find ourselves at the time. Sometimes I have ‘seen’ this time/space thing more clearly; have experienced similtaneous ‘realities’ – and to what end? I guess part of me knows this exists, but as you say, one must corral a certain parcel of said reality to function, earth-wise, within it – similar to living in ‘a house’ instead of the whole world. Although we do that, as well. I love your Santa metaphor – let it happen organically, I say, when the earthling is ready. For this is what we are, at least for the time being, and it’s wise to assume a certain functionality within time/space/location, is it not? I cannot think of another ‘reason to be here,’ other than to accept it and learn and grow from the experience. Aloha, Hariod, thanks for being a loyal reader. By no means did I consider this my best or most provocative work, but one must write, after all. Wishing you a peaceful weekend, and many happy returns in the new year ❤

      1. I’ve just realised I probably came over as unappreciative of this piece, Bela. I’m afraid I rather got sidetracked with those earlier thoughts. Besides, it felt particularly personal to you, and I didn’t want to speculate or make assumptions about your family life – whether you were writing about you and your daughter(s), or you and your mother; you appear to reference both generations? Anyway, happy Christmas to you and yours, dear friend. H ❤

      2. Ohmygosh, No, Hariod – I didn’t at all take any offense whatsoever by anything you said or implied. I’m simply stating a fact, that the first line occurred to me and I just took it as a prompt and ran with it so I’d have something to post on Tuesday😉 And yet somehow you offered thoughtful consideration in your comments, for which I am grateful! You are a sweet and sensitive soul, thanks for having my back on this one. I love your thoughts on sliding floors and most everything you offer here. I am so honored by your presence in my world! Aloha, dear, and blessings to you for the holiday and beyond.❤

  4. I think I would have reduced the light 1-2 steps in order to enhance the effect of the beautiful sunset?
    But, of course, this is a matter of ‘ subjective taste’?!

    1. There is something lost in the minimizing of the image quality when transferring to the media lab on WordPress. When I look at my original shot, the light is better. Maybe I need to check the WP settings 😉 Thanks for the input! Aloha.

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