Beautiful Boy

He strapped a noose around his neck,
in truth we heard it breaking;
his dress and mode in retrospect
reflected tender aching;

I wonder why they cannot see
or hear the cries and mourning,
before life turns on that thin dime
wherein the soul is yearning
to simply be accepted now
for who and what one is,
instead of fighting circumstance
to dampen down the fizz.

(RIP~ June 2017)

 


26 comments on “Beautiful Boy”

  1. This is deeply moving, touching too Bela, I hope it wasn’t someone too close to you. I immediately thought of Chris Cornell, whose death was such a shock and so very sad.

    – Esme holding Bela’s hand upon the Cloud

    • Aloha, sweet – we did Not know this young man, and such is the pity. His family lives literally within earshot. No one talks about this recent event; these suicides are all too common here, unfortunately. It is never reported in the news. There are cultural differences we have been unaware of, but you can be sure they’re on our radar now. We joined forces to put his spirit to rest, and we feel good about that. Thanks for your sweet condolences, dear one ❤

  2. do we listen or do we just close our eyes

    • Exactly. And some are beyond our ears due to whatever separation they hold in error. I am sorry we never knew him well enough to dispel that. Thanks for your thoughts. 🙏🏽

  3. Oh dear, so recognizable. And so sad, in memories I see our friend Sanyi at his funeral. So sad such a good boy, and nobody could make him feel loved. While he was so loved by me and some others as well. I am deeply deeply moved again by your writing. It reaches my soul, thank you for being you Bela. ❤

    • Aloha Esther – So sorry about your friend Sanyi. Yes, when a person sinks so low they can imagine no other way than ending their life, it must be such a state of numbness that no matter if they are Surrounded by love, they simply cannot feel it. On another note, I am glad my writing moves you, and thank you for your exquisite wisdom with our equine companions. Blessings to you! 😌

  4. Poignant words, Bela. So sad a loss– what happens where they lose all hope, how are we failing them?

    • Aloha Eliza – yes, it’s really difficult when we didn’t really know this person. But even knowing someone – one of my own brothers committed suicide – it’s hard to discern that tipping point. My brother would call and want to talk on the phone for hours, usually late at night and usually when he was high. One might become inured to those kinds of dramatic events after many years. Still in the end, taking his own life was the only way he could envision himself outside the pain he was perpetually enmeshed in.

      I don’t have The Answer as to how we fail society, only that there are so many mitigating factors that are meant to exalt when they have just the opposite effect – I’m thinking particularly of religious guilt as an example. The only path forward seems much blurrier to me since this crazy country elected a madman as President. Before that, it seemed at long last we were on the Right track, finding common ground in differences and striving toward inclusion collectively as a nation. Yet this Presidential backlash seems to prove me wrong, and it wouldn’t be the first time. Still I do have faith in this Aquarian Age – sooner or later, we’re going to have to set a bead on some sort of center or perish as a species. And yes, I do think it is that dire. At any rate, since you asked 😉 Peace, Eliza. Thanks for contributing your voice. ❤

  5. Poignant poem – sad and beautifully written, Bela.

  6. Sad account, Bela. But one that we all need to hear. Sometimes others around us need help, and we have to learn to put our differences aside and stand together. In such a diverse world, it’s funny how we can’t seem to accept each other as we are. Then again, we all have a right to fear and choice. Hope all is well there and wishing you a good day 😊

    • Mabel, as always, wise beyond your years. For so many years counseling people, I learned not to impose my will or preferences on others. It’s a lifelong practice. I try and connect where and when I can, but if another is not open, there’s not much I can do. As Rumi said, “There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” Trying to allow for this difference in others while offering support to me is the highest ground. But even then, one cannot impose. Such a quandary.

      Many thanks for your kind words ❤

  7. Some cries remain within, some desires and emotions remain unexpressed…noose is such a scary word but a reality around us…
    Well articulated shout Bela…poignant and attention seeking. Wishing for kindness and empathy for all.
    Thank you Bela for highlighting the ever-important issue. Stay blessed!

    • Thank you, dear Balroop. Life is so precious and not always appreciated by the young or by those in a state of high distress. Yet when something like this occurs whether it’s talked about or not, the waves ripple and are felt, at least by us. Aloha and Namaste ❤

  8. I hated-liked this. Oh the ambivalence we encounter when we juggle Reading, Writing, and Listening in great literature!

    This piece is an example of how great writing may not always be something we enjoy reading about, but we can always enjoy the way it was written. And even more importantly, it is always something we need to hear. It’s a bit too sad and morbid for my general tastes, but I completely understand the sentiment. And I know it is something we all need to hear and ponder to truly understand our world if we hope to make our little corner of it a better place.

    Thanks, Bela, for another great lesson that, once again, is helping me grow a little bit more into the best world-changer I can be.

    • James, I hear you. I felt this way recently about one of Heidi’s stories. It was so good that it actually ‘sucked me in’ to its desperate drama in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. Yet this discomfort, as you yourself express, helps us grow beyond ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ into a more inclusive understanding of others’ lives. It has the potential to awaken us in daily living, if only to pique our gratitude that we are not the person/s in the story!

      Many thanks as always for your observations, and for taking the time to comment as incisively as you do. ❤️

  9. Was he on antidepressants? You know these pills actually make some one commit suicide.

  10. Reading through your poem and the image chosen, then your comments.. It is sad when those take their young lives.. So many young men now here in the UK are taking their lives.. If only they would talk to someone, life is not as dark as we sometimes see it be..
    When one gets to that pitch its heart rending for everyone concerned.. for there will always be those questions of Why?

    Sending Love your way Bela.. ❤


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