Love or Something Like It

I could spend the rest of my life ruminating:
this is why I do not create bonds easily,
trust takes years, betrayal ever ready
to sharpen its fangs on a tender heart;

I could say it’s because you abandoned me
and failed to protect us Mother, and it would
be true, in part; yet all parents disappoint
and damage despite love and sacrifice,
their own deep suffering notwithstanding,
due in part to perils children can never know;

I passed it on as well, I who least wanted to,
I, the diligent one who was going to get it right
still made mistakes, nothing critical and yet
here we are, frail silly humans, dragging one
another through chambers of ecstacy
and suffering and no matter what we do,
we err;

Love is the great leveler. If we love, we risk
its opposite; if we revel in delicious splendor
these bodies grant us as small compensation
for daily stressors, we cast wide the gates
for all of it, orgasmic bliss and the seed
of life perpetual when another loop is formed
in the tiny golden chain with a locket,
treasured keepsake, the same link that
when magnified darkens under the lens
like forged iron intimating opposites,
a hell of our own making;

And still we chance it and who could refuse?
Again and again the heart beckons
and we return singing Solomon’s song,
humbled into eloquence and beatitudes,
bowing at the feet of the beloved; I would
do it all again. Differently, of course. Yet
I beseech you, who among us would not?

image: Amanda Johnson

16 thoughts on “Love or Something Like It

  1. It is often in hindsight, as we look back on life, would we have done it differently.. I hope we learn from what has gone before.. And I hope I would change the bits that I needed to.

    I have been doing a lot of looking deeper at things recently Bela, and given all of those lessons taught me, would I be who I am today without them.. Would I now be a different human being I don’t know.

    So many Loops are formed, I think we broke that chain.. But many never break free.
    A very thought provoking piece Bela
    We all of us Need LOVE.. ❤ and Loving..

    1. True enough, Sue – I think if we are lucky enough to live a long life, many of our senior years are spent in deep reflection – it’s how we ready ourselves for the next journey. As for subsequent generations on earth, it’s how we transform those lessons learned into wisdom to pass on – Not easy work, as we must live it and not simply spout platitudes. Then again, we live in a time where the young (collectively, though there are individual exceptions) do not respect their elders so much. (I know I didn’t – then again, it was either Patriarchal dogma or withheld information I could have benefited from understanding.) Kids who do not listen are doomed to repeat a lot of what could be averted. But you know, each has our path, and who am I to say what way is best?

      I agree, we broke that chain and many never break free. It’s a hard road when we’ve been subjected to extremes when young. Yet I believe in undertaking that difficult work, we do contributes to a better world. Cheers and love, my friend ❤

      1. Much love back Bela.. And yes each path is one taken, to be learned from.. I am hoping not to get caught in the perpetual web, but alas, I feel still I have much much more yet to learn.. ❤ Hugs

  2. Until we become a parent, we don’t know how difficult it is to be a perfect parent.

    As a parent, we do the best we can to teach and direct our children to be successful in their own right.

    I would venture to guess that every parent has things they would do different.

    And so the process begins anew with the next generation.

    1. ‘Tis true, Patrick. We can describe things like childbirth or parenting to others ad infinitum, but until one has experience either or both, it’s really difficult to gain perspective. Aloha 🙂

  3. Wow. I think anyone who has lived long enough to experience a good slice of life, can certainly relate.

    Very good writing pulls at your innermost feelings. This is very good writing. 🙂

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