What Has Been

This post is entitled appropriately as my ode to 2018. 2019 seems downright revved up, as we begin with the first dry weather we’ve had in some time. And the energy to clear up what was muddled most of last year! Aloha, All:::

Rain streams now in sheets, curtains sweeping,
drumming over metal rooftops, drawing me out
of slumber, winking like a mole as I snap
on the light, settle onto the spare bed
and begin to write, for there will be no sleep
in this sudden pitch of restlessness;

The waters of an uneasy spirit are drawn down
from overhead clouds masking what can only
be known when night filters out distractions
of the day; too much chaos, obligatory
conversations, automatic responses triggered
by years of people pleasing, dishonoring
my own deep need for less of everything;

And how could I have known this was
a requirement for sanity in glaring headlamps
of the world’s demands, as if Creation itself
could not possibly move forward without
my constant input;

Ironies abound as ends have overtaken means,
while the stark realization that life goes on
with or without me is finally the liberation
sought all along, freedom arriving,
at along last, unfettered and perpetual.

Waning light, Kailua-Kona
Around the bend, Kailua-Kona
Nishimura Bay view, Kohala
Lucy ponders the end of another year

All photosΒ Β©2019, Bela Johnson

19 thoughts on “What Has Been

  1. A beautiful poem and it does sound as though you are amped up with 2019! I, myself, have stalled in my writing as my partner and I of 20yrs must now part company (will still see much of each other) due to the lack of money to share a space any longer. As you know the increase in rent keeps rising and with my own health issues it is simply too stressful to continue as we are. We are now both retired and on a fixed income which is a difficulty in itself. In any case, I will be helping her next week to move into a small one bedroom apartment and I will be moving the end of March out to my oldest daughter’s home. It is a huge transition and change for me as I left my own home at age 18. But life never goes where one would expect it to at times so I will adjust. I do hope to get back to writing again but my muse has simply taken a holiday. I hope you are well and glad to see you are still writing with much enthusiasm. Take care.

    1. Renee, I am so sorry to hear that circumstances are taking you away from a longtime partner. I do trust that, in the end, this decision for you both will end up being a positive one, though it may not look that way just now. Here’s wishing you ease in your transition and abundant blessings in this new year. Love, Bela

  2. Nice reflections on life that goes on at its pace, only we have to be mindful of the changes it brings, welcome them and keep going. That is how I have taken life year after year…new year is just a name.
    Awesome pictures Bela, with such different colors, just like life! Thank you for sharing.

  3. 2019 is well and truly here…wonder what’s in store this year, probably a lot πŸ™‚ Lovely ode to moving forwards, Bela. Really like the imagery of the first paragraph where rain draws you out of a slumber. There have been quiet a few warm summer morning rains here in Melbourne of late…some so loud and heavy that they’ve woken me up as I’m sleeping in in the morning πŸ™‚ Also like how you alluded to darker times and challenges in your poem. They are parts of life, hard to avoid but in the end, as you mentioned, life does go on and though we might not get over what happens, we have to move on and hope for a better tomorrow and time ahead. Beautiful photography of Hawaii as always. Take care, Bela. Have a wonderful year ahead πŸ™‚

  4. Beautiful Bela, while you emerge as the sun begins to shine. I feel like snuggling in a hobbit home. No distractions of rings of gold. I agree I too am done with people pleasing.
    Sending love πŸ’–πŸ€—πŸ˜

  5. Hi again Bela, reading my comment it sounds negative, it wasn’t meant to sound that way.. The Ring of Gold I was thinking of the ring, in Lord of the Rings, the distraction it caused, via greed etc.. Too many things were bombarding my brain, so I have been painting, just BEing, and writing down my thoughts..
    Good to see your post as I logged into my email first time in ages..
    I hope your New Year continues at the pace you wish it to be..
    Love and Blessings my friend.. I may get around to a post which describes my feelings, or I may not.. lol..
    Nothing at the moment is seeming important, only being in the now..
    Much love Bela.. I know I am rambling.. lol.. ❀

    1. Not at all negative! That was the least thing I considered it to be! I totally got your meaning with the gold ring when you mentioned the hobbit cave. πŸ˜‰ and yes, being in the now seems to be quite enough these days. So so much going on, and Mars coupled with other significant planets direct for the first time in years. So lots of energy whirling around. Best to harness what is useful and realize the masses are pretty much swimming in confusion with fires under their butts! interesting times … sending you love and peace. β£οΈπŸ’•πŸŒΉ

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