Driving to the post office two miles
down the road, a camouflaged coyote sits,
watching traffic go by, head swiveling
to and fro, ears perking up when I spot her,
and we think we speak different languages;

Yesterday as I approached our mountain home,
a female elk stood in the center of the road
she was crossing, long enough to inspect the car,
the occupant, who knows, I am not a fan
of anthropomorphisms, and yet I did take note;

It is in nature I feel most at home; still, the danger
during these pandemic times is that I might
once again forget I am part of the human race,
having learned the importance of community
only recently in this long life;

I think I am alone with these strangling feelings,
I think I am free inside myself and yet,
during yesterday’s drive, zoning out as the miles
ticked by, I felt an orb of release, like coughing
up a hairball, and it was solid as the golf balls
we kids used to crack open, only to discover miles
of something like rubber bands,
as unlike the ball’s shiny dimpled exterior
as guts are to the face we show the world;

And so these inner fibers, once released by inside
or outside forces stretch and rebound, extend out
and return to me, as they have done, year upon year,
remaining unchanged unless, that is, I alter
something perceived, an old pattern or habit, thus
unsticking the bonds that solidify them within.

ยฉBela Johnson 2021

14 thoughts on “Hairball

  1. This resonates Bela. Thank you ๐Ÿ™The withdrawal into nature feels right … and then the mind – or is it the heart – starts questioning the need for connection and community with humans. When I donโ€™t have to force myself it seems to work. But there is still a part that judges that I shouldnโ€™t need others. The protective armor runs deep. May the shedding continue ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I feel this way too, Bela. I am surrounded by nature and beauty but after a year of isolation (only a weekly trip to the local grocery store) I am craving social interaction (although the introvert in me wants it on my terms). LOL. Here’s to finding a balance as we move forward. Wonderful post!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Loved this write, Bela. I love Nature and everything about it but am still respectful at a distance of some things. Even in the city here you see them of an early morning….that is when I was living more in the city than I am now. One morning when no one was about but me, two coyotes were rather at odds with which street to take. Standing right in the middle of the intersection they posed an unusual site.

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    1. That was a cool thing to witness! I would be much more cautious around wild animals coming into a city environment then I am in the wilds, where I have lived since I was 18. At least here, they generally have food sources and are less prone to disease. You are wise to give them a little distance. Blessings, Renee! ๐Ÿ™โค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Namaste, high priestess of Nature that you truly are, Bela. The hairball metaphor fits in perfectly with the narrative of inner fibres stretching, extending and undergoing occasional refinement. The pics are an added embellishment.

    Liked by 2 people

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